The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

This Christmas the journey ends.
Directed by: Peter Jackson
Written by: J.R.R. Tolkien, Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Peter Jackson
Starring: Elijah Wood as Frodo Baggins, Sean Astin as Samwise Gamgee, Viggo Mortenson as Aragorn, Ian McKellen as Gandalf the White, Dominic Monaghan as Merry, Billy Boyd as Pippin, Orlando Bloom as Legolas, John Rhys-Davies as Gimli, Andy Serkis as Gollum, Miranda Otto as Eowyn, Liv Tyler as Arwen, and David Wenham as Faramir
Music by: Howard Shore

Heck. Yeah.

Quite simply, one of the best movies ever. As in, of all freakin' time. In fact, I consider it to be the best film ever - again, as in of all freakin' time.

Seriously. This film took my jaded little heart and nice neat little "best films of all time list" and left it looking like Hiroshima after it had the nuke dropped on it - complete with little people searching through the rubble afterwards.

I have spent EVERY waking moment comparing it with every great movie I've ever seen, trying to find an area where it falls short, and I can't do it. I can't think of a single film that has a single moment better than this one. You will be blown away. People say that all the time about movies, but I mean you will be blown away. You will see things that you have never before seen on a film screen, and will most likely never see again. It is so good that you will be literally gasping for breath. I thought I had a fair idea of what Minas Tirith looked like. I thought I had a pretty good handle of how to picture The Battle for Pellanor Fields.

I had no freakin' idea.

I found myself at a loss for words, and so did everyone else who saw it. Yeah, you can throw around words like "phenomenal" and "perfect," but they just seem so hollow. You end up speaking in some kind of code, where you'll say,

"Oh man... that one part?"

"Oh yeah. Just wow, man. But that OTHER part?"

"Oh HECK YEAH. But oh man, that ONE part..."

- and of course this continues for forever, because you basically just keep going through every scene in the movie over and over and over again.

It's all here, guys. Yes, they did cut out the scene between Eowyn and Faramir in the house of healing, but you know what? I didn't miss it. And that's my favorite scene in the whole book. I was so looking forward to it, but when the time for it came... I didn't notice it missing, because everything else was just so perfect that I had totally forgotten about it. And it'll be on the extended edition, I'm sure, so I'm not really crying.

Oh yeah, speaking of Eowyn. My favorite scene of the movie belongs to her. She has one of the most iconic scenes of all time in this film, and when she says her famous line... I wanted to jump up in my seat and scream "oh HECK YEAH! YOU SHOW HIM!"

Those that have read the books know the part I'm talking about. And don't worry, it's done perfect - just like the rest of the film.

The Battle for Pellanor Fields = Perfect
Denethor = Perfect
Shelob = Perfect - TOO perfect *shudder*
Paths of the Dead = Perfect
Every Single Moment = Perfect

And in the end, that's what this film is. Perfect. All other films just kinda... die. Like, I couldn't care about them. This film has everything, and it does everything perfect. It's so good that writing this review is proving to be impossible, because I keep struggling with trying to explain to you guys just how good this film is. I can't do it. Words fail me. I had incredibly high expectations, impossibly high expectations and they were shattered. This film was beyond anything I'd ever even dreamed of. With both "Fellowship" and "Two Towers" I found things to quibble about. I loved the movies, but they weren't perfect. This film is perfect.

I've never seen a film like this. Ever. (5/5)

Love, Actually (2003)

The Ultimate Romantic Comedy
alt. All You Need is Love...Actually

Directed by: Richard Curtis
Written by: Richard Curtis
Starring: Bill Nighy as Billy Mack, Gregor Fisher as Joe, Colin Firth as Jamie Bennett, Lucia Moniz as Aurelia, Kiera Knightley as Juliet, Chiwetal Ejiofor as Peter, Andrew Lincoln as Mark, Alan Rickman as Harry, Heike Makatsch as Mia, Rowan Atkinson as Rufus, Emma Thompson as Karen, Hugh Grant as Prime Minister David, Liam Neeson as Daniel, Martine MacCutcheon as Natalie, Thomas Sangster as Sam, Laura Linney as Sarah, Rodrigo Santoro as Karl, Kris Marshall as Colin Frissell, Abdul Salis as Tony, Martin Freeman as Jack, and Joanna Page as Judy
Original Music by: Craig Armstrong

I'm rather notorious for my views on chick flicks. I usually do not like them. (Those of you who dragged me to watch "Sweet Home Alabama" probably remember well my views of the genre.) 90% of the time they are trite, disgustingly pale imitations of love, and have little or no redeeming qualities to them.

Of course, there are exceptions.

I first heard about "Love Actually" about a half year ago. I heard that the writer of "Four Weddings and a Funeral," "Notting Hill," and "Bridget Jone's Diary" was writing and directing a new British romantic comedy. I was mildly interested - I'd liked both "Notting Hill" and "Bridget Jone's Diary", and had heard that "Four Weddings and a Funeral" was good too. Plus, it was British. Being made in Britain goes a LONG way towards me having a positive anticipation for a film. Then, I heard the cast that was in it, and my jaw dropped. A film with Bill Nighy, Colin Firth, Liam Neeson, Emma Thompson, Keira Knightley, Hugh Grant, Laura Linney, Alan Rickman, Billy Bob Thornton, and Rowan Atkinson is a film that I have to see.

It's tagline of "The Ultimate Romantic Comedy" was both daring me to hate and enticing me to see just what kind of movie would have the audacity to claim that title. I was cautiously optimistic - and ended up loving the film.

Truth be told, it's probably one of the best films I've seen all year. For those that haven't heard, it mixes about nine different stories about love into one movie. Yes, they're all connected, but it's never a forced connection. Rather, it enforces the idea that love actually is all around us. It shows us all sides of love too - not just the romantic happy ones. Sometimes love hurts, sometimes love doesn't work out, sometimes love isn't returned, sometimes love is misunderstood - it's all portrayed here. If there was to be a message of the movie, it'd be that love is THERE - and it comes in all shapes and sizes. Some of the stories are sweet and endearing, some are romantic, and some will tear your heart out. A few of them seem to be going in a totally predictable direction, only to shift to become a story that suddenly has suddenly has resounding significance. Some of the stories ARE typical romantic comedy type - but they're wonderful all the same. When you have a cast and director/writer that are this good, wonderful things are sure to happen.

Everyone does a great job in the film, but if there were to be rewards handed out they'd probably go to Hugh Grant (in a really fun role as the Prime Minister of Britain - watch for his little "dance" scene), Laura Linney (who probably shows the most accurate portrayel of love in the whole film, and who's final scene will break your heart), Keira Knightley (for the scene where she watches her wedding video), and Liam Neeson (his scenes with his son are dead perfect). Of course, Colin Firth, Alan Rickman, and all the others are perfect in their roles as well.

When you take that many stories, and blend them into one movie, you're running a huge risk. But rather than seeming bloated or choppy, "Love Actually" succeeds perfectly. It's great to see a "romantic comedy" that doesn't just fill itself with saccarine sweet fluff, and actually handles some of the hard stuff. That's not to say that it isn't a happy movie - because it is. It just doesn't always take the easy way out.

The problem is, a good 90% of you will not want to see this movie, because of it's rating. "Love Actually" is rated R - for nudity, sexual content, and language. It's like the mark of the beast for Christians. The nudity comes from one of the stories - two young people that are starring in a film of the "adult" variety. It's a great story, and a great message (they both fully differentiate between sex, and actual love), but the way which it's told will turn many Christians away. (Personally, I found that it works just fine if you close your eyes during this part - you can still hear them talk, and when the voices change you know it's the next story and you can open your eyes again.)

The fact that I'm admitting that I enjoyed a film that calls itself "the ultimate romantic comedy" should clue you in to just how good it is. We don't get many films that show "true" love. This one does. Go check it out. (4.5/5)

And just in case you wondered, my wife gives it a five little love stories out of five (5/5).