The Fountain (2006)

“What if you could live forever?”

Directed by: Darren Aronofsky
Written by: Darren Aronofsky
Produced by: Arnon Milchan, Iain Smith, Eric Watson, and Nick Wechsler
Cinematography by: Matthew Libatique
Starring: Hugh Jackman as Tomas / Tommy / Dr. Tom Creo, Rachel Weisz as Queen Isabel / Izzi Creo, and Ellen Burstyn as Dr. Lillian Guzetti
Music by: Clint Mansell

“All right, I trust you. Take me. Show me.“

Both beloved and reviled by critics, “The Fountain” was on my “must see” list of films for 2006. It was in-and-out of theaters so quickly, I had to wait for DVD. A few weeks ago, I was able to watch it. And then I waited, just to be sure I could say what needed to be said about it without being utterly overwhelmed by what I had just seen.

It’s a few weeks later, now, and I can say this with full confidence – “The Fountain” is one of the most beautiful films I have ever seen. That sounds like I’m reaching for a compliment, here, but I truly mean it – the film is visually, thematically, and artistically gorgeous. Darren Aranofsky, Rachel Weisz, and Hugh Jackman should all be commended, along with the cinematographer and art designers.

The plot, as it were, is rather difficult to explain, but I’ll give it a shot. In the year 2005, Dr Tom Creo is working frantically to find a way to save his wife, who’s dying of brain cancer. There’s a promising new sample, taken from a mysterious tree in South America that just might be the answer that he needs. (It is, but not in the way he expects.)

His wife is finishing a novel that she’s been working on for quite some time. She has one chapter left. It’s about a conquistador that is sent by the Queen of Spain to find the tree of life – which is, incidentally, the second story. The third story is most likely the story of Tom in the far future, traveling with the afore-mentioned tree in a biosphere heading towards a mysterious constellation.

Three stories – the text (the historical Spain story), the literal (the 2005 story), and the symbolic. Past, present, and future. Birth, life, death.

The promotional tagline for this film was “What if you could live forever?”, which you would think would be a good thing. Living forever, that is. However, that tagline is nothing more than a misdirect of astonishing proportions, because this film? Is all about death. Running from it, fighting it, accepting it, and …loving it? In fact, the best description of this film that I’ve heard is that it’s a “love letter to death.” And it’s true. Thematically, it’s not all that far away from one of my *other* favorite films from 2006, “A Prairie Home Companion,” and while both come to a similar conclusion (namely, that death really isn’t all that bad – it’s both beautiful and necessary), “The Fountain” approaches it with imagery, symbolism, and thematic synergy firmly in hand, while “A Prairie Home Companion” relies almost solely on lyricism. This is, of course, a result of each film’s respective creative team – of course Aronofsky (Pi, Requiem for a Dream) is going to utilize an astonishingly beautiful palate of visuals, performance, and score – that’s one of his calling cards that establish him as one of the finest directors in the US.

The film has been criticized for its lack of “answers” – it never exactly or literally ties the three storylines together, but that doesn’t really matter. Each story is the exact same story, told in a slightly different way. Symbolism – in the text (dialogue), in the visuals, and in the art design (look for the shape themes sprinkled throughout the film – triangles for the Spain storyline, rectangles for the current day storyline, and spheres and circles for the “future” storyline). By doing this, by telling the same story in three different periods (and in three different ways) Aronofsky is saying, “Look – this isn’t just something I believe, it’s something I discovered, and now I’m showing you, too.” Death has been the same for thousands of years, and it isn’t going to change. By seeking to live forever, we’re simply prolonging the inevitable – we are going to die. And that’s a beautiful thing, especially for those that are Christians.

Oh yeah. The spiritual side of this thing. “The Fountain” is packed to the brim with religious imagery, beliefs, and symbolism. Aronofsky draws mainly from three – Mayan beliefs, Buddhism, and Christianity – but he never makes a single one “the point” of his film. Rather, he draws common truths from all of them. This isn’t as bad as it sounds – after all, much of Proverbs was taken from ancient Egyptian writings and other ancient mysticisms. And the idea of death as a final gateway that is to be approached with joy is certainly an idea that Christians should be familiar with. (How many times does Paul exhort Christian’s to “run the race with endurance?” And how does a runner approach the finish line? With an all-out sprint.)

I’m digging way too deep for a simple review. I’ll wrap it up. Kudos have to be given to Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz – Hugh Jackman shows a range that you’d never expect from him, and Weisz is the foundation that this film rests on. (Also – Aronofsky is a brave man, casting his then-pregnant fiancee as a dying cancer patient in a film about the beauty of death.)

Yeah, I’m gushing. I loved this film, and the only reason I’m not deconstructing each little piece of it for you here is that I don’t want to risk taking away any of the beauty of the film for those that have yet to see it.

“Death is the road to awe” indeed. Five Trees of Life out of five. (5/5)

The Ladykillers (1955)

Meet the "Unholy Five"...The Most Befuddled Set of Assorted Thugs That Ever Fouled Up a Million Dollar Bank Robbery!

Directed by: Alexander MacKendrick
Written by: William Rose
Produced by: Seth Holt, Michael Balcon
Starring: Alec Guinness as Professor Marcus, Katie Johnson as Mrs. Wilberforce/Lopside, Cecil Parker as Major Courtney/Claude, Herbert Lom as Mr. Harvey/Louis, Peter Sellers as Mr. Robinson/Harry, and Danny Green as Mr. Lawson/One-Round
Music by: Tristram Cary

This is another Guinness film which fits in the realm of "darkly comedic and slightly disturbing." Guinness once again plays a criminal, however this time a bit more psychotic than in "Lavender Hill." Professor Marcus is a startlingly odd looking man who has a knack for well-planned robberies. This one requires him to lodge with an old, rather befuddled, woman named Mrs. Wilberforce. When his cronies show up, they tell Mrs. Wilberforce (whom they call Lopside behind her back) they are musicians who need somewhere quiet to practice. Everything goes along smoothly until old Lopside figures out what the men are really up to and threatens to go to the police. The men scramble to find one of them willing to kill her and dispose of the body in the convenient cargo trains that pass behind her house every few minutes. With Lopside having no idea what's going on, but struggling with her own fears of being considered a criminal and her attempts to guard the stolen "jolly."

This movie will have you laughing and silently wondering if you SHOULD be laughing. There is a lot of violence done in a humorous manner, although true to Brit form, none of the deaths occur onscreen. Professor Marcus' minions got the most laughs out of me with their distinct methods of screwing things up in one way or another. I appreciate that the film makers let us see the entirety of the Professor's plan before they were snagged by Lopside and things began to go awry. There wasn't just one type of comedy - there were puns, physical comedy, sound effects added to bring laughs, one-liners, you name it.

The two characters I did not like were Professor Marcus and Mrs. Wilberforce - which was kind of frustrating considering they were the two main characters. Mrs. Wilberforce was frustratingly stereotypical but not because she wasn't creatively written. Instead, her character swung back and forth between the easily cowed and confused elderly woman and the brusque no-nonsense old biddy. And usually there was no distinction as to what made her act the way she did. And Guinness as Marcus just creeped me the heck out. No more no less. Creepy man.

I enjoyed some of the other dark comedies in this series much more, especially considering the twist at the end of this one (all the ones in this series have a twist) was enormously frustrating. This original version of the Ladykillers gets three passing coal trains out of a possible five (3/5).

Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (1948)

Directed by: H.C. Potter
Written by: Eric Hodgins (novel), Melvin Frank (screenplay), Norman Panama (screenplay)
Produced by: Melvin Frank and Norman Panama
Starring: Cary Grant as Jim Blandings, Myrna Loy as Muriel Blandings, Melvyn Douglas as Bill Cole, and Reginald Denny as Mr. Simms
Music by: Leigh Harline

This is a film based on a 40's pop hit novel - kind of like all of our "Nanny Diaries" and "Bridget Jones" today. It's been remade three times under different names - first in 1986 starring Tom Hanks in "The Money Pit," in 1993 as "The Dream House," and most recently (and most dismally) as "Are We Done Yet?" in 2007 starring Ice Cube.

It's a story most of us are familiar with. The typical American family decides they need a bigger, more prestigious house and the blundering father gets in way over his head as the expenses pile up. Nothing seems to go right and the husband regrets ever wanting to move - until the house is actually finished and miraculously paid for and then everything is lovely again. This film was a hit back in '48 when it was released and it has all the makings of a great movie. The cast is superb and the story is humorous. But for some reason, it just irked me. I tend not to care for movies in which fate seems to go completely against the protagonist no matter how much they do the right thing. One reason I can't stand "Meet the Parents." This movie wasn't quite as bad as all that, considering Blandings does make some rather stupid decisions from the get-go. He fails to consult his best friend lawyer (who seems to be his financial counsel as well) out of gusto and then jealousy - he believes his wife to be involved in an affair with the man. Which is never really confirmed or denied.

I think part of my disappointment stems from the disjointed storyline. It sails along beautifully at first, then stumbles and takes us into another crisis with the necessity of Blandings writing a jingle for WHAM ham. Then - when things begin to go wrong with the house, the jingle falls out of the picture again until the very end when it's brought up as the major problem of the movie. And then the entire thing suddenly resolves and the movie ends within a minute. With a breaking of the fourth wall which seemed so cliche and cheap that I wasn't surprised to see that the movie studio had promoted the movie by building houses just like the Blandings' all over America and either selling them or raffling them off.

Personally, I think the movie doesn't stand up as a great classic comedy as much as many of Grant and Loy's other films. The story fails to stand the test of time and is only buoyed by good acting and physical comedy. I give this film two WHAM hams out of a possible five (2/5).

All About Eve (1950)

It's all about women - and their men!

Directed by: Joseph L. Mankiewicz
Written by: Joseph L. Mankiewicz, Erich Kastner (German version), Mary Orr (novel)
Produced by: Darryl F. Zanuck
Starring: Bette Davis as Margo Channing, Anne Baxter as Eve Harrington, George Sanders as Addison DeWitt, Celeste Holm as Karen Richards, Gary Merrill as Bill Sampson, Hugh Marlowe as Lloyd Richards, Gregory Ratoff as Max Fabian, Marilyn Monroe as Miss Caswell, and Thelma Ritter as Birdie Coonan
Music by: Alfred Newman

If ever there were an overlooked classic by today's generation, this is it. "All About Eve" has everything - great casting, great acting, great story, great ending. Bette Davis plays the renown but aging actress Margo Channing and Celeste Holm is her best friend, Karen. When Karen introduces the young Eve Harrington to Margo as a fan, Eve gains their trust and pity when she tells them of her hard life. She manages to weasel her way into Margo's life, eventually making a play for her career and her boyfriend. And she doesn't stop there. Armed with the biting columns of the acidic critic Addison DeWitt, Eve won't let anything or anyone get in her way as she shoots for the top.

With Bette Davis and Anne Baxter in this film's cast, you know the acting has to be superb. Davis is stunning as the elder actress trying to hold on to her career when she doesn't even know if she still wants it. And Baxter acting as an duplicitous innocent with motives upon motives is outstanding. Even though I knew from the get go what this film was about, Baxter's acting ability still caused me to have doubts as to whether or not Eve was really all that bad. In fact, all three of the leading ladies in this film were stellar. Davis as the firecracker, Baxter as the aspiring underminer, and Holm as the loyal and well-meaning friend. The male actors didn't play as large a role, with the exception of Sanders as the critic DeWitt. He also did well, and his character arc was one of the most enjoyable of the whole story.

When it comes to plot, the layers in this film are extraordinary. This isn't just the story of a mean-spirited aspiring actress. Nor is it the story of a fading star. There are themes of friendship and loyalty, love and commitment, blackmail, intrigue, suspense and suspicion. Throughout the entire film, I just kept getting more and more angry at Eve and everyone she sucked down with her - but the ending is wonderfully fitting.

And on top of all this - I can give you what the rest of the world has said about this film. It was nominated for 14 Oscars and won six - including Best Picture for 1950. The film won a Golden Globe for the screenplay, best picture at the NYFCC, and Best Film from Any Source at the BAFTAs. It has been preserved in the National Film Registry and is a part of AFI's 100 Best American Films of the 20th Century at number 16. And on Rotten Tomatoes . com, it has a 100% approval rating - something almost unheard of.

This film gets the highest recommendation. Five standing ovations out of a possible five (5/5).

The Odd Couple (1968)

Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau are the Odd Couple...say no more.


Directed by: Gene Saks
Written by: Neil Simon
Produced by: Howard W. Koch
Starring: Jack Lemmon as Felix Ungar, Walter Matthau as Oscar Madison
Music by: Neal Hefti

When the neat freak Felix Ungar finds out his wife wants a divorce, he has nowhere to go. His friend, Oscar Madison, invites him to move into Oscar's 8 bedroom apartment. This seems like a great idea at first, until Oscar the slob gets fed up with Felix's cleaning obsession.

This is another example of a movie that is great, but probably not quite as great as the play it's based on. Lemmon and Matthau are one of the all-time wonderful comedy pairings, and this film shows them at their best. They work together brilliantly to bring the most humor into the situation - whether it's a poker game or a double date gone horribly awry. And the couple bring it together at the end to show us that we can learn things from someone who is our complete opposite.

Another star on this movie's lapel is the supporting cast. The Pidgeon sisters are classically adorable and annoying simultaneously. And the Poker crew were made up of the play's original cast and so obviously were fantastic - the typical guys' night bumblers.

The plot of the story moves a little slowly for my tastes. Or possibly there just wasn't quite enough movement at all. It seemed that as well as the end was brought together, it just kind of happened. But I did enjoy all the throwing of food, breaking of plates, and physical comedy.

The Odd Couple gets four burned mealoafs out of a possible five (4/5).

The Thin Man (1934)

A laugh tops every thrilling moment!


Directed by: W.S. Van Dyke
Written by: Dashiell Hammett (novel), Albert Hackett (screenplay), Frances Goodrich (screenplay)
Produced by: Hunt Stromberg
Starring: William Powell as Nick Charles, Myrna Loy as Nora Charles, Maureen O'Sullivan as Dorothy Wynant, Natalie Moorehead as Julia Wolf, Edward Ellis as Wynant/The Thin Man, Porter Hall as Herbert MacCaulay, Harold Huber as Arthur Nunheim, Nat Pendleton as Lieutenant Guild, and Minna Gombell as Mimi Jorgenson
Music by: Dr. William Axt

Movies such as this just aren't made anymore. I don't care how many funny cop couplings or romantic mix ups you throw at me - you'll never match the Charles' team. Retired detective Nick Charles and his wife Nora are on vacation and trying to avoid anything more exciting than walking their dog, Asta, or the next great dry martini. But when one of Nick's old friends goes missing and people who were close to him start dying - Nora convinces Nick to jump on the case.

I know I use the word "chemistry" a lot - and for that reason I won't use it to describe what happens between Powell and Loy. Besides, it's more like electricity. The two fit together like a trenchcoat and gumshoe and the banter between them will keep you falling off your seat - while the mystery will keep you attempting to cling to the edge. I love the fact that neither of the Charles' could be considered the typical bumbling detective - no matter what you've heard. Both involve themselves in questionable capers as well as find trouble when they aren't looking for it. But it's done with such smooth and good-natured responses that it always seems like they might have planned it.

This movie (from a book) spawned an entire series of films starring Powell and Loy, and all were enormous hits. Ironically, the Thin Man mentioned in the title is the missing person in the first movie and doesn't appear in any of the following ones. But so many fans thought the Thin Man referred to Nick - that the studio kept the moniker.

I strongly encourage that you watch, if not the entire six film series, then at least this first one. There's comedy, action, alcohol, crooks, murders, the latest in 1930's forensic technology, and not to mention one of the greatest detectives of the last century. Nick and Nora get five dry martinis out of a possible five (5/5).

Ushpizin (The Guests) (2004)

When you really need a miracle...

Directed by: Gidi Dar
Written by: Shuli Rand
Produced by: Gidi Dar and Rafi Bukai
Starring: Shuli Rand as Moshe, Michal Batsheva Rand as Malli, Shaul Mizrahi as Eliyahu Scorpio, and Ilan Ganani as Yossef
Music by: Adi Ran

This foreign film was nominated for three Israeli Film Academy Awards - their version of the Oscars - including Best Picture. The film is Israeli in origin, and the actors are all Jewish. The story follows Moshe and Malli Bellanga during the week of Sukkoth - a holiday where Jews construct a house made of wood and palms to live in and they pray while offering the four species: a date palm branch, a willow branch, a myrtle bough, and a citron (lemon). Moshe and Malli are broke when Moshe is denied a stipend they were depending on. They have no money to buy the things required to celebrate Sukkoth, much less survive. They both begin to pray for a miracle, including for a son. And when God begins to bless them, He also sends two visitors from Moshe's shady past which will come to seem more like trials than blessings.

I added this film to my netflix list on a whim after watching the preview. I somewhat expected a comedy - but this film is more a drama than anything else. This is not to say there aren't some very funny parts. The story itself flows evenly from despairing to joyous, painfully embarrassing to triumphant. The plot is even, and while sometimes I didn't know what was going on since I am not Jewish nor do I speak Hebrew, that didn't keep me from being encouraged by this tale of blessing and trial, faith and reward.

The acting is incredible - Shuli Rand and his real life wife Michal bring a spark to the screen together as a leading couple to be reckoned with. Moshe's friend Ben Baruch contributes a lightheartedness and the rebbe brings wisdom. There isn't just one lesson here to be learned from these characters, there are many.

Another stellar part of this film is the soundtrack. Hasidic musical artist Adi Ran's music is integrated to perfection in times of praise and trial. They bring another aspect of Hasidic life into focus for us outside of the Yeshiva. "Ushpizin" brings a wonderful chance to see a couple's prayers answered in ways only God could contrive of and the opportunity to observe an entirely different culture from the one we have here in the U.S. I highly recommend this film and award it a five diamond citrons out of a possible five (5/5).

Bye Bye Birdie (1963)

Directed by: George Sidney
Written by: Michael Stewart (play), Irving Brecher (screenplay)
Starring: Dick Van Dyke as Albert F. Peterson, Janet Leigh as Rosie DeLeon, Ann-Margaret as Kim McAfee, Maureen Stapleton as Mamma Mae Peterson, Bobby Rydell as Hugo Peabody, Jesse Pearson as Conrad Birdie, and Paul Lynde as Harry McAfee
Music by: Lee Adams (Lyrics) and Charles Strouse (music)

This film is an adaptation of the Tony Award winning musical of the same name. There are significant changes from the play to the film, although Dick Van Dyke and Paul Lynde both were a part of the original stage cast.

The premise is as follows: down and out songwriter Albert F Peterson is in a tough spot. His star singer, Conrad Birdie, has just been drafted into the military, his mother runs his life, and he's too afraid of Mamma to tell her about his fiancee - Rose. In an attempt to save Albert, Rosie sets up a deal for Birdie to give out a kiss on the Ed Sullivan show to one lucky member of the Conrad Birdie Fan Club. The kiss will represent a last symbolic kiss to all his fans. Then, he can sing Albert's new song "One Last Kiss." The song will become an instant smash and Albert will be financially secure enough to break off from his mother. A name is drawn and the group sets off for Sweet Apple, Ohio to meet up with the winner - Kim McAfee. Kim, obviously, is overjoyed, but things get out of hand when rock star meets small town. Kim's boyfriend is disastrously jealous, her father is obsessed with appearing on the Ed Sullivan show alongside her, and Albert's mother shows up to break up Albert and Rosie.

One thing I can say about this movie is the majority of the musical numbers are wonderful. They're creative and humorous - my favorite is "Put On a Happy Face" - which is the only thing I had ever heard from the musical or movie before watching it. Van Dyke and Leigh have wonderful chemistry, but Van Dyke can capture that with almost anyone. Yet, I do think the filmmakers could have utilized dance choreography more than just camera tricks for a few of the songs. They did such a great job in "Happy Face" and "Honestly Sincere" but kind of fell apart in "The Telephone Hour."

Maureen Stapleton does a superb job as Mrs. Peterson - she's excellently nosy and overdramatic, overbearing and ridiculous. Janet Leigh does a wonderful job opposite Van Dyke, and although she seems to overact a little at times - she more than makes up for it with her screen presence. Paul Lynde is simply hilarious as Harry McAfee, even painfully hilarious - so awkward and well-meaning but at the same time self-serving and confused.

However, I did not enjoy Ann-Margaret in the role of Kim. She grated on me. I disliked her singing voice, speaking voice, and her acting abilities. It's beyond me to see how this role propelled her into stardom (if that's what you call acting with Elvis Presley). I also didn't particularly like Birdie or Pearson's portrayal of him. He was hardly developed at all and I think the screenwriters could have utilized his character a lot more. Granted - I don't think you were supposed to enjoy Birdie...

Overall, I didn't enjoy watching this movie; too many of the actors or characters were annoying. I think if I saw the stage production which inspired this film, I probably would have loved it. But the film was too kitschy, too campy, too...teeny bopper for me to really enjoy it. I'd give it two speedy turtles out of a possible five (2/5).

The Apartment (1960)

Movie-wise, there has never been anything like "The Apartment" - love-wise, laugh-wise, or otherwise-wise!

Directed by: Billy Wilder
Written by: Billy Wilder and I.A.L Diamond
Starring: Jack Lemmon as C.C. Baxter, Shirley MacLaine as Fran Kubelik, Fred MacMurray as Jeff Sheldrake, Jack Kruschen as Dr. Dreyfuss, Ray Walston as Joe Dobisch, and Edie Adams as Miss Olsen

I could have enjoyed this movie a lot more had I not been told it was a comedy. I was stunned at the basis for the plot (esp for 1960) - C.C. Baxter - a man who lets his bosses use his apartments for their romantic trysts (despite them all being married) in exchange for putting in a good word for him at work. He finds himself more and more taken advantage of as his superiors put more pressure on him to make room for them in his schedule. And when Baxer finally gets promoted, the head man of the company realizes what's been going on and puts himself on the schedule. And to make matters worse, Supervisor Sheldrake's paramour is the woman Baxter himself is trying to pursue.

I can understand how this might be portrayed as a dramedy in today's world. But to promote it as a comedy forty years ago is just ridiculous. I suppose the situation could be construed as humorous...yet..the movie is more sad than funny in most ways. The morality is horrendous, and things continually spiral out of control, finally ending with an attempted suicide and a divorce. From a Christian standpoint, there isn't really any good part to this film other than everyone getting what's coming to them.

Yet if I had started this movie knowing it wasn't supposed to be funny, I probably would have enjoyed it tremendously. Jack Lemmon is a wonderful actor as usual, and this side of Shirley MacLaine isn't one I see very often. She usually plays vivacious comedic women as opposed to introspective and withdrawn ones. And it was a real jolt for me to see Fred MacMurray, Disney's wholesome dad, as the antagonist in a movie. He was just downright creepy and slimy and...well, let's just say if the role were cast today, Patrick Swayze would probably fit the bill. Or David Hasselhoff. You get the picture.

So despite this not being a comedy as it's advertised and with some of the tough issues it deals with, looking back, I enjoyed it and can see why it was nominated for a ton of Oscars and won best picture. I'd give this movie a four creepy office managers out of a possible five (4/5).

Mr. and Mrs. Smith (1941)

It's Daring! It's Delightful - And as Spicy as It's Speedy!

Directed by: Alfred Hitchcock
Written by: Norman Krasna
Starring: Carole Lombard as Ann Krausheimer Smith, Robert Montgomery as David Smith, and Gene Raymond as Jefferson Custer


I had no idea what to expect from this film - a horror director dabbling in a romantic comedy? And unfortunately - he should have just left well enough alone. David Smith is mostly happily married to his wife Ann - except for all the rules she likes to make and follow. After a morning including a spat, David finds out that - through a fluke of small town policy - he and Ann's marriage is not valid. Ann finds out soon afterwards and when David fails to tell her right away, she decides she's no longer married to him and begins to pursue an independent single woman's lifestyle. David is kicked out of the house and scorned by all his former household employees. Things get even worse as the two compete to be the most "happy" as a single person and culminate when David's business partner and childhood friend, Jefferson Custer, tries to woo Ann for himself.

This film is just so...awkward. Lombard's character is incredibly annoying and Montgomery makes David Smith out to be a bumbling idiot with an ego problem - something that doesn't really work. There are a few random scenes (such as the scene with the screwy pipes) which I believe are supposed to be funny but leave you going "what was the point of that?" Half the time you wonder why these two should even be trying to get back together. Overall, the acting is overdone, the comedic timing is off, and the plot just wanders until it suddenly decides to conclude abruptly for no apparent reason.

The one good point in this film is the music. I can't find any reference to who composed/arranged it but I thought it was one of the only entertaining faces of the film. It's quirky and the melody is employed in so many different ways it's surprising. Unfortunately, I can't really think of anything else to praise. The only way I would recommend this movie is if you have a goal to watch every single one of Alfred Hitchcock's films. "Smith" gets one bloody nose out of a possible five (1/5).

The Five Pennies (1959)

Written by: Robert Smith, Jack Rose, Melville Shavelson
Produced by: Jack Rose
Starring: Danny Kaye as Red Nichols, Barbara Bel Geddes as Bobbie Meredith, Harry Guardino as Tony Valani, Bob Crosby as Wil Paradise, Susan Gordon and Tuesday Weld as Dorothy, and Louis Armstrong as himself
Music by: Sylvia Fine


This is the biography of one of the greatest cornet players in American history - Red Nichols. Nichols worked his way up from small time to leading one of the greatest Dixieland bands in history until his daughter contracted polio and Nichols dropped his dreams of music and found a nine-to-five job so his family would have stability.

"The Five Pennies" is one of my all time favorite classic films. I love it because I love Danny Kaye's acting. I love it because it is both funny and moving. And I love it for the outstanding musical score. We get to hear Louis Armstrong on several occasions and Kaye singing as well. Be sure to watch for the darling duet sung between Nichols and his daughter, Dorothy. Danny Kaye's real life wife, Sylvia Fine, wrote many of the songs - and whenever you see Red Nichols the character playing, you can bet the real Red Nichols recorded it. But you wouldn't know it to watch Kaye as he maneuvers a cornet.

That being said, if you watch any amount of good classic movies, you'll know what an incredible actor Kaye is. This film not only includes the incomparable humor Kaye can produce, but shows us he can be a darker actor as well. He captures the depression of a father who feel guilty for his daughter's suffering and who has had his dreams stomped on by serious reality. Barbara Bel Geddes is the perfect companion for Kaye in "Pennies," her talents including singing beautifully, playing the witty towngirl, the caring mother, the smart business partner, and an overall understanding female for Kaye's emotional turmoil.

The only flaw in this film is the vague definition of how time passes. This may be intentional, but personally I don't think it works if it was intentional. Dorothy grows from baby to child and child to teen in one scene each. Not to mention the end of the film makes you believe that the concert is Nichols' first in his return instead of the last ditch effort. But despite this, and as you probably expected, I give this film five pennies out of a possible five (5/5).

Rebecca (1940)

The shadow of this woman darkened their love.


Directed by: Alfred Hitchcock
Written by: Daphne du Maurier (novel), Philip MacDonald (adaptation), Michael Hogan (adaptation), Robert E. Sherwood (screenplay), Joan Harrison (screenplay)
Produced by: David O. Selznick
Starring: Laurence Olivier as Maxim de Winter, Joan Fontaine as Edith de Winter, Judith Anderson as Mrs. Danvers, George Sanders as Favell, and Leonard Carey as Ben
Music by: the incomparable Franz Waxman

Now before you begin reading the opinionated part of my review, you have to know that I've read the book this movie is based on and it's one of my favorite novels of all time. In fact, only HP Lovecraft gave du Maurier a run for her money in creepy factor. So if I was judging this movie all by itself just as a movie, I would probably rate it higher. But since I've read the book, I can't really get away without comparing the two.

This is the first of Alfred Hitchcock's American films. In it, Edith, a paid companion of a nosy old rich woman, falls in love with a widower while both are in Monte Carlo. Maxim de Winter, who seems haunted by his past, marries Edith and whisks her off to his lavish estate of Manderley. At the instant of her arrival, Edith feels threatened and unwanted - mostly due to the lingering and seemingly malicious presence of Maxim's first wife - the incomparable Rebecca. This problem is exacerbated by Mrs. Danvers, the head housekeeper of Manderley. Mrs. Danvers was completely devoted to Rebecca and even now after her death keeps her bedroom as a shrine. Edith is constantly reminded by Danvers just how short she falls when compared to the beautiful and poised Rebecca de Winter. It also doesn't help that there seems to be some mystery concerning Rebecca's death and that Maxim refuses to talk to her about it, instead flying into rages when the topic of Rebecca is brought up.

This movie was intentionally made in black and white so it would be creepier - however, I think they could have done much more with colors, especially since Manderley was such a vibrant place up to the end. I felt like something was lacking. And although the actors and actresses did a stellar job in their respective roles - I just couldn't find Mrs. Danvers all that disturbing. Maybe it's because in the novel you always wonder if Danvers is waiting, wraithlike, in the shadows of whatever room the plot is taking place in. In the movie, visually, you can often see that she's not. The book provides more of a horror suspense aspect, while the movie provides more a psychological suspense story. I just kept feeling more and more sorry for Edith as opposed to more and more afraid of Danvers. There was also a distinct lack of character development for Ben - he plays a much larger role in the book than he does in the film.

My biggest complaint with this movie is the changing of the ending.

*spoilers*
Maxim becomes infinitely more accessible when you find out he hasn't killed his wife - and without that aspect you have no reason for his ensuing insanity after the discovery of Rebecca's body and the burning of Manderley.
*end spoilers*

However, other than the end and the different tone of the movie from the book, everything else is exactly as du Maurier wrote it. I just felt that a vital aspect of the true novel was missing from this movie. I can't figure out what it is, whether it's in the acting, the plotline, or even the music. I'd give this a 3 creepy housekeepers out of a possible five (3/5).

Keeping Mum (2005)

*updated*

Some family secrets are best kept...buried.
alt: They took her in. Now she's taking them out.

Directed by: Niall Johnson
Written by: Richard Russo and Niall Johnson
Starring: Rowan Atkinson as Reverend Walter Goodfellow, Kristin Scott Thomas as Gloria Goodfellow, Maggie Smith as Rosie/Grace Hawkins, Patrick Swayze as Lance, and Tamsin Egerton as Holly Goodfellow
Music by: Dickon Hinchliffe

Rogue...

We decided to list this movie on our classics site mainly because it's a wonderful Brit film which was a smash over the pond but hasn't seen much publicity here in the States. This dark comedy focuses on the Goodfellow family - a rector, his wife, and their two children - and how their lives are altered when the new housekeeper shows up and turns out to be a serial killer. Maggie Smith does an absolutely stellar job as Grace Hawkins - who kills anyone who gets in her way. It's a role you don't expect to see her pull off - yet she does it with such humor and natural expression, you wonder why you haven't seen her in a role like this before.

The other characters are also superbly developed. The rector is oblivious to everything going on in his family - his daughter's promiscuous lifestyle, his son's problem with bullies, and his wife's impending affair with her golf instructor, Lance. Rowan Atkinson is funny in a way completely opposite his usual style with Mr. Bean. He manages to mock the clergy without insulting them, and even my husband (who is a pastor's son) could relate to some of the issues Rev. Goodfellow had to deal with. Gloria was sufficiently neurotic and Holly was the perfect rebellious daughter. I have a question though - when did Patrick Swayze start fitting the typecast for the pervy older man?

Another aspect of this movie I absolutely must praise is the soundtrack. It's quirky and heartfelt all in the same notes, and brings every scene in the movie together flawlessly. I'm tempted to buy it - but I am pretty sure I'd have to import it. I also want to congratulate the directors of this movie for keeping every death scene off screen. We are there at the moment of death, but we never have to see someone's head getting bashed in or a body dismembered.

However, that being said, there are some fairly graphic scenes in this movie. It is rated R. The daughter goes topless several times throughout the film, and there is a large amount of swearing. Plus, you have to see Patrick Swayze in a thong - which just about scarred me for life. The Brits are a little more lax with nudity and language than we are here in America. Just as we are a bit more lenient when it comes to violence than they are (which, I suspect, is why the death scenes are off camera).

Hopefully, my husband will be posting his thoughts later, so you may want to check back. But as for me, I give this movie a five corpses out of a possible five (5/5).

thatoneguy...

Rogue covered most of the info you need in order to make a viewing decision, here - "Keeping Mum" is a charming, darkly funny family tale that's filled with some really fun performances. There's depth here, too, even if it does seem a little heavy handed on the surface. A family falling apart, until "Grace" comes into their lives and changes them all for the better. In most cases, this would be horrifically cheesy. However, when the "Grace" in question is a charming old lady (played to perfection by Maggie Smith) who has absolutely no qualms about killing people who are inconvenient? Well, that helps make things a little less saccharine. In fact, it's the performances that sell this movie. (Rowan Atkinson, in particular, turns in a performance that shows that he has a range far greater than any of his Mr Bean roles.) True, Patrick Swayze goes way over the top, but the rest of the performances provide a surprising and welcome amount of levity and depth to this quaint, dark comedy.

As Rogue said, there's no violence here - everything happens off camera. The language and the nudity may be a dealbreaker for most, but rest assured - this isn't a Tarentino film. It's also not the sort of "cool language" that you find in most American films - I can personally vouch that this is exactly the way people in Britain talk. (I'll never forget the time I heard a Pastor's wife drop the f-bomb during a casual lunch-and-tea meal. Funny, funny stuff.)

"Keeping Mum" isn't a film that will change your life, and it's not a film that will leave you speechless. However. You will laugh, and smile, and when the film finishes you'll most likely feel happier than you did when you started it. No "guilty pleasure" here - this is a wonderfully solid film. Highly recommended - a 4 shovel-wielding-Maggie Smiths out of 5. (4/5)

The Lavender Hill Mob (1951)

He stole $3,000,000 in gold and that's a lot of BULLion!
alt: The men who BROKE the bank - and LOST the cargo.

Directed by: Charles Crichton
Written by: T.E.B. Clarke
Starring: Alec Guinness as Henry "Dutch" Holland, Stanley Holloway as Alfred Pendlebury, Sid James as Lackery, and Alfie Bass as Shortie Fisher
Music by: Georges Auric

This is just another example of the comedic largesse of Alec Guinness. He plays Henry Holland, a mild and meek bank clerk who supervises the transportation of gold buillion and dreams of stealing it and running off to live the life of adventure. His only problem is how to get it out of the country - easily solved when Holland meets the owner of a foundry, Alfred Pendlebury. They whip up a plan in less than a week when Holland finds out he is about to be transferred. Together, they con two seasoned crooks into helping them steal the contents of the truck - although immediately things begin to go wrong. And things go even more haywire when some of the gold (now in the shape of Eiffel Tower paperweights) is lost and falls into the hands of the British police.

There were several points in this film where I thought, "this is absolutely ridiculous!" The men find themselves in and out of trouble so many times it's amazing they got as far as they did. And all of their capers are not through any mistake of theirs! Holloway plays the perfect foil to Guinness - one being meek and exacting, the other bumbling and loudmouthed but well-meaning. It was very reminiscent of a Laurel and Hardy comedy (but with a more developed plotline). And Audrey Hepburn makes an appearance early in the film as Chiquita - this was her first film to be distributed in the US. She was one of Guinness's favorite actresses.

Overall, I would highly recommend this comedy, as it highlights the wonderful talents of both Holland and Guinness in the roles of well-meaning thieves. And watch for my favorite scene - with the bobby officer singing "Old MacDonald Had a Farm" at the top of his lungs (complete with animal sounds!) I give this one four golden eiffel tower paperweights out of a possible five. (4/5)

Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)

A hilarious study in the gentle art of murder.


Directed by: Robert Hamer
Written by: Roy Horniman (novel), John Dighton, Robert Hamer
Starring: Dennis Price as Louis Mazzini, Valerie Hobson as Edith D'Ascoyne, Joan Greenwood as Sibella, and Alec Guinness as The Duke, The Banker, The Parson, The General, The Admiral, young Ascoyne D'Ascoyne, young Henry D'Ascoyne, Lady Agatha D'Ascoyne
Music by: a variety of Classical composers

If you've never seen Alec Guinness as anything but Obi Wan Kenobi, I strongly suggest you start looking at his earlier works. Nowadays, it seems a shame that most know him as the enigmatic proverb-spewing, force wielding Jedi knight, when in actuality, he's a former king of comedy. While he doesn't play the main character in this film, he might as well - considering he plays eight other characters all belonging to the same family and all killed by the main character in hilarious ways.

The premise of this film is very gruesome - a young man with a far reaching claim to a dukedom feels spurned by the noble family he descends from, especially after his mother dies and is refused internment in the family vault. He decides to get revenge and claim the title of the Duke of Chalfont. Eight of his relatives stand in his way, as well as the problem of juggling relationships with two women who want to marry him.

His attitude towards the deaths of his family members is detached and non-chalant - the perfect portrait of a serial killer psychopath. And Price plays Louis perfectly, casually discussing the particulars of poisoning, drowning, shooting, and otherwise knocking off the people in his way. He also manages to fit every role he attempts - whether it's a clergyman or a clerk. And as much as you're disgusted by Louis, you're rooting for him by the end. He's taken advantage of just as much as he takes advantage of others.

The comedy in this movie is undeniable. Louis's attitude provides plenty of humor, as does Sibella's sickeningly sweet antics towards him. And needless to say, Guinness is incredible in his eight different roles, ranging from snobs to rectors to suffragette women. There always seems to be an aura of overdramatic acting pervading the script - but never irritatingly so. The sheer number of one-liners is impressive, and every few minutes Jason and I found ourselves laughing at the antics of either Guinness or Price or Greenwood.

This movie is a selection on both the Time Magazine and the BFI's Top 100 British Films. It has also been ranked as the 25th Greatest Comedy of All Time and the 7th Greatest British Film of all time by the readers of "Total Film" magazine. I highly recommend this early Guinness film and award it four dead relatives out of a possible five (4/5).

Kinky Boots (2005)

How Far Would You Go to Save the Family Business?

Directed by: Julian Jarrold
Written by: Geoff Deane and Tim Firth
Starring: Joel Edgerton as Charlie Price, Chiwetal Ejiofor as Lola, Sarah Jane Potts as Lauren, and Jemima Rooper as Nicola
Music by: Mainly consists of songs from the film sung by Ejiofor, but also includes music from David Bowie, Nina Simone, James Brown, The Dub Pistols, Jemima Rooper, Lyn Collins, Louis Jarrold, The Visitors, Diefenbach, and Kirsty MacColl

First of all, this movie shines because it's based on a true story. There really is a shoe factory in a small town in England which changed its line from men's shoes to men's shoes for transvestites. And granted this subject alone may be enough to keep the squeamish from watching this film. The movie makes a point of not condemning this lifestyle but prods you to accept people for who they really are - using both Lola and Charlie as examples, along with several smaller characters along the way. For the majority of the film, Ejiofor appears in drag, and if not in full drag, at least some makeup. And there is a large focus on sex appeal through the shoes.

Yet, for all the content issues some people may have with this film, it is amazingly clean. There are absolutely no sex scenes - not even implied. Charlie and his fiancee do not even live together. There is little swearing and practically no violence either. Simply men dancing in suggestive female costumes (which doesn't bother me because they're men). The storyline isn't typical and the end - while being slightly predictable - doesn't fall back on the usual excuses for it's predictability. The plot itself is tightly woven and very strong, and the characters are very well expressed.

My absolute favorite part of this movie is Chiwetal Ejiofor. His role in "Kinky Boots" has solidly placed him in my list of favorite actors. He was nominated for a Golden Globe for this part (and lost to Sasha Baren Cohen, which...don't even get me started on how stupid that is). He plays the part of Lola perfectly - as a man who isn't gay but loves dressing up in women's clothing, and a man who likes to challenge common social norms and doesn't enjoy doing what people expect. He sings all his own songs, which in itself could have gotten my respect, but he actually pulls off wearing women's outfits just fine. In fact, the first time you see him out of drag, you almost don't recognize him; which forces you to recognize just how much of him is wrapped up in his identity as Lola.

If you are very uncomfortable with the idea of cross dressing, you probably won't enjoy this movie. However, I do recommend it as a clean film with a good general moral lesson to teach in a fun and entertaining way with superb acting. I'd give this film five pairs of kinky boots out of a possible five (5/5).

With Six You Get Eggroll (1968)

"Keeping this family together isn't child's play!"

Directed by: Howard Morris
Written by: R.S. Allen, Gwen Bagni, Harvey Bullock, and Paul Dubov
Starring: Doris Day as Abby McClure, Brian Keith as Jake Iverson, Pat Carroll as Maxine Scott, Barbara Hershey as Stacy Iverson, Alice Ghostley as Molly the Maid, and George Carlin as Herbie Fleck.
Music by: Robert Mersey

At first glance, this might seem like a less comedic version of "Yours, Mine, and Ours" or even "The Brady Bunch." Each of the adults has less than four kids and so much of the hilarity gained with gobs of children isn't present.

Granted, the two romantic leads find plenty of humorous situations to get themselves into without their offspring's help. Their bending over backwards to try to keep their children happy forces them into compromising positions where their own needs come last. This doesn't seem funny after the third time they sneak off to the drive through for coffee and give each other a knowing look. And the story does seem to drag a little without small persons spiking drinks or getting hit in the face with a football, therefore damaging their social lives. The two youngest McClure kids provide most of the child comedy, but only in a rather loudmouth annoying way - *gasp* a realistic way.

And that's where this movie picks up where the aforementioned films leave off. While the movies this is often compared to focus on the comedic aspect of adjusting to the merging of families, their humor could just as easily happen within a family that isn't blended - such as with "Cheaper by the Dozen." With Eggroll, we focus more on the awkwardness of dating again when you've already got a family, the pressure when a new spouse enters the scene, and the rough waters you have to navigate when it comes to your children adjusting. Day and Keith are just realistic enough to make this movie shine, but not realistic enough to be shocking to viewers in the late 60's.

Once again, the ending of this film is a little of a let down. It felt as if the movie makers saw their movie wasn't hitting enough funny bones and took a mixed up situation and blew it up into something ridiculous. Thus the entrance of the chicken truck, the hippies, and the too small Good Humor Costume.

This movie gets a three eggrolls out of a possible five eggrolls (3/5).

Oceans 11 (1960)

"That Big One!"

Directed by: Lewis Milestone
Written by: George Clayton Johnson, Jack Golden Russell, Harry Brown, Charles Lederer, and Billy Wilder
Starring: Frank Sinatra as Danny Ocean, Dean Martin as Sam Harmon, Sammy Davis Jr. as Josh Howard, Peter Lawford as Jimmy Foster, Richard Conte as Tony Bergdorf, and Cesar Romero as Duke Santos
Music by: Nelson Riddle

This movie was recently remade by Steven Soderbergh and the newer version has now become a hit spawning two sequels, Oceans 12 and Oceans 13 (due out this year). All I can say is this: Thank God for remakes.

The original version begins with a similar premise as the remake (this is kind of odd using the remake as the standard, but you'll understand why) - a group of old friends decide to get together and rob some casinos. The ringleader, Danny Ocean, is trying to win his wife back in the process, and one of the team's members has just been released from jail. However, this is where the similarities end.

Danny is just a layabout playboy who loves the thrill of breaking the law, and he and his friends from the 82nd Airborne in WWII meet up again 15 years later. Danny has been given plans to rob not one casino, but five - on New Year's. The plan is flawless and all of the 11 men are eager to take their cut. Unfortunately, things don't go as planned. One of the team members dies during the heist, and another member's new stepfather - who happens to be a mob boss - finds out who stole the money and tries to blackmail them. This forces the 10 to scramble and find another way to get the money out of Las Vegas and into their own pockets.

All of this might have made for a spectacular movie - except the end just falls flat on its face. The plot builds and builds and then suddenly ends without resolution. Which always makes me upset.

One thing I did enjoy about this movie was the music and visual editing. Of course, with the Rat Pack starring in it, there's bound to be some great music; and several of them find a way to showcase their pipes. The scenes with repetitive actions, such as the tagging of the security or breaker boxes, and the countdowns till midnight, or the heist itself, are done very creatively. And the cameos by Shirley MacLaine and Red Skelton are very funny.

Overall - I'd give this movie one robbed casino out of five possible robbed casinos (1/5)- because it just was a sorry excuse for the Rat Pack to get some more screen time.